The Truth Hurts
by Janto4ever
Summary: John Hart visits Torchwood.  Gwen Bashing.   Jack/Ianto Owen/Tosh. Read, laugh then review One shot.


The truth hurts.

John pays Torchwood a visit… this should be interesting.

Warning- Gwen bashing and some swearing. Author because very annoyed when people don't review.

Captain John Hart spun around in the spinny chair of the space ship he had just won in a game of poker, thinking of things he could do.

'Now I'm dizzy.' He mumbled.

He jumped from the chair and began to look around for anything remotely interesting.

John hated being bored.

He opened a few draws and cabinets he finally found something. A small safe, after he broke the combination (all time agents knew how to do this) a small smile played upon the captains lips. He spotted a small bottle that contained a soft pink gas. Holding the bottle to eye level he looked for the soft sparkle, bingo.

Tomorrow had just become a LOT more interesting.

~TORCHWOOD~

Captain Jack Harkness looked down on a certain sleeping tea-boy named Ianto Jones. Ianto smiled softly as he slept, that smile which made Jack's heart melt.

Ianto started spending his nights with Jack at the Hub for quite a few months now.

'You know its rude to stare.' Ianto muttered into the pillow.

'But Yan you're just so…'

'Oh shut up Jack.' Ianto said quickly cutting the older man off.

'NO NEVER! JONES, IANTO JONES I'LL NEVER SHUT UP!' Jack yelled at the top of his lungs.

'DECAF!' Ianto yelled at the man as he threw a pillow at Jack's head.

Jack instantly turned quiet.

Ianto just shook his head and chuckled at the older man.

'Okay then! Lets have a shower, get dressed then I'll make some coffee.' Ianto said as he sung his legs out of the bed.

'I'll join you!' Jack said as he jumped up from the bed only to fall back down.

'I wouldn't have it any other way.'

~TORCHWOOD~

The Torchwood team sat in the conference room, It was 1:30 pm and Ianto had ordered the team lunch (Chinese) and they were all talking about something stupid.

'Afternoon team! Are we still Torchwood?' Said an overly happy voice.

John Harts grinning face appeared on the large screen of the conference room.

'John Bloody Hart what the fucking hell are you doing?' Jack yelled.

'Oh lovely greeting. Nice to see you too Jack still with eye-candy?' John said. 'Now I thought you would all like to know that I've spiked your air supply with a truth gas. Now no its not toxic because It wouldn't be funny… No it would still be funny if you died. Back to the point, this is the strongest truth gad know to alien kind. But ya know!'

'Please oh I beg you tell me he's joking.' Ianto said mainly to himself.

'But eye-candy I'm not joking, you see I hate being bored absolutely _hate _being bored. Being bored makes you, well boring. Now the weakest will crack first and spill there darkest secrets and everything you now say is the truth.'

'Jack, I love you!' Gwen practically yelled.

'I knew that was going to happen! Just me or did you so see that coming?' John yelled a little to happily.

Everyone's eyes turned to Gwen and Ianto's face turned to a deep shade of red.

'Gwen… what the?' Jack began.

'Jack I love you! I know you love me to but wont do anything since I with Rhys but you see Jack, I'll end it! Then we can run off together!' She said as she ran out of the conference room.

The rest of the team… and well John sat there in silence not really knowing what to do.

'I really want to sniff my foot at the moment, don't know why. Oh fuck, the truth gas… there must be some of it In this room as well.' John said making Tosh giggle which made her choke on her water.

'Owen I'm in love with you.' Tosh yelled out to Owen. 'I also found Ianto really hot when he started.'

'Didn't we all?' Jack asked.

'Tosh I think I may be in love with you too.' Owen replied.

Before the others knew what was going on Tosh and Owen were pressed up against the wall snogging each others faces off.

'Jack, Its been done! I broke it off!' Gwen said as she ran into the conference room and sat on the table in front of Jack. 'Oh Tosh darling, you know Owen's only snogging you to get over me.' She added.

Tosh pushed Owen off her and walked over to Gwen with a look in her eyes that meant 'You better run if you don't want to die'. Tosh slapped Gwen so hard that Gwen fell of the desk.

'You stupid self-centred cow! No one cares about your stupid, pitiful life!' Tosh yelled at Gwen.

'Jack! Are you going to let her treat _me _like this! I mean Jack! She bloody _slapped me._

'Yeah I think I might.' Jack said smirking a bit.

'_What?_ The gas! The gas must have messed something horrible up! Don't worry Jack I forgive you.'

'No Gwen, I do not share your feelings, Owen doesn't love you Neither Ianto nor Tosh remotely like you and I do hope that you really didn't end it with Rhys since he's the only person who can stand you.

Gwen ran out of the conference room balling her eyes out and Tosh and Owen went back to snogging each others faces off.

So… what do you guys think of having an orgy?' John asked braking the silence.

'As mucg fun as that sounds Hart No. Ianto said.

'Jones, Ianto Jones I think I may be in love with you.' Jack told Ianto.

'Good, because I think I may be in love with you too.' Ianto said as he grabbed the older mans shirt and pulled him in for a kiss.

'Oh and I broke your coffee machine last month.' Jack said.

'Its okay Jack, I was the ones that ate your gummy bears not Owen.'

'YOU WHAT?' Jack yelled.

'You do not mess with Jack's gummy bears!' John yelled at Ianto.

'You love me Jack!' Ianto yelled.

'True.' Jack said as he went back to kissing Ianto

'Okay everyone you get today off.' He yelled and he then went back to snogging his very hansom younger Welshman.

Tosh and Owen ran out of the Hub hand in hand.

'Oh yay look everyone's either shagging or crying.' John said, now bored… again. 'Well I guess I'll see you all soon.'

END!

A/N Why is this so sucky? Because it's a 3 am idea.


End file.
